Habits

Habits are formed both consciously and unconsciously. When we want to bring in new, healthy habits and when we want to release those that don’t server us any longer, it takes a little bit of work. But, it’s totally doable.

The first step is to set the intention. I want to do ____ on a regular basis (every day?). This comes from you wanting something different that is good for you, like a calmer presence, for example. Next, is your desire for the change, your motivation. Then comes your response to your intention and motivation. It might a thought (dropping into presence) or a behavior (sitting to meditate).

The key here is to make it as easy as possible to do the new thing. You want to set yourself up for success. With meditation as the example, maybe you set your alarm for just ten minutes earlier in the morning. You can do an extra ten minutes! But before then, you’ve designated a soft, cozy space where you can sit and won’t be interrupted. This might require you negotiating with your partner to make sure you’ve got the time and private space without causing chaos early in the morning. You will also want to have your meditation style chosen already. Maybe it’s a recording you have queued up and ready to go ahead of time.

Then, after you do it (yay!), give yourself an immediate reward. Maybe it’s a cup of coffee or tea. This reinforces your efforts and you can feel proud that you did the thing you set out to do. It’s also helpful to track your new efforts in a calendar or on an app. It sure does feel great to look back and see what you’ve accomplished in a short period of time.

When you break it down like this, it can make a big new behavior seem less daunting. It’s also good to just do a little at a time. If you’ve never meditated before, start with just five minutes. After you’ve got your routine going and you notice how grounded you feel afterward, you might increase it to ten minutes and so on.

The 5% rule is helpful here. Can you do just 5% more? Can you wake up just a little bit earlier? Can you sit for just a little bit more. Again, the key is to not make it a huge challenge. Just a little bit at a time will build into big changes.